They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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