plz talk dirty to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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