your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
