I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
