State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So vagazzling was a success
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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