And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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