i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
