I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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