I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
