I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
