I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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