That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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