She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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