Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
