Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
