I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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