she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
