it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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