I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
