Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
