Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
