Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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