I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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