So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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