Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
