I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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