sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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