at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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