32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
