WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
