so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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