Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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