drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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