yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
