I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
