**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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