yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
