i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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