dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
