I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
