so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
