She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I forget how to act sober
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