just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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