apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
