my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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