Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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