So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it hurts more in the daytime
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
