Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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