I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
