He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
