By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
