ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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